Welcome to the Monkey House

So it's finally come to this...

...a blog. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now a blogger. And hey, I only jumped on the trend just a couple years after it peaked in popularity. Way to keep up, Mark. That means I should begin Tweeting on a regular basis by 2013 or so.

To clear any confusion, my previous advoidance of blogging should not be taken as a sign of my being behind today's trends (that would be my lack of understanding what exactly an RSS Feed is). I've read several blogs from time to time both as a favor and out of sheer interest in what the author had to say. My problem is that, for the most part, I think there is a certain level of pretentousness and posturing in people who feel the need to blog on a regular basis - as if they were that person you knew in college or at work who always felt the need to throw in their two cents when they weren't asked or (even worse) when the situation didn't call for it. Even now as I write this, I feel slightly slimy and low about myself because why should I assume you care what I have to say (but please keep reading, I'm getting to a point here).

In fact, if there is one thing about the modern internet age that has gotten me the closest to going into a crazy monkey rage, it is that every jag-off with a computer, a simple understanding of spelling and grammar, and a mildly coherent thought now thinks they are a writer. Seriously, I've seen everything from my dream job as a film critic to my faith in common sense and humanity deteriorate simply because the single greatest advancement in communications in the past century is now being used as a means to spout off misinformed, unintelligible dribble. And please don't get me started on how sites like PerezHilton, TheDrudgeReport, and TMZ have built multi-million dollar empires out of sullying journalistic integrity.

So why am I here? I wish I could say I am on a crusade to bring back validity to online writing, but again, I am not that arrogant (plus how do you even begin to save a lost cause?). My purpose, like most blogs, is self-serving. I have recently taken notice of just how powerful the internet can be in developing your voice, image, and how to best sell yourself to the greater public. You can even drum up business off it as several friends have proven (cough, cough, http://www.joecottrellphoto.com, http://www.davearmstrongart.com, http://www.drawingguy.com). I've recently been faced with a crossroads in my career and I've begun a year that will see some challenges, but will ultimately come with some great rewards. And as part of that I'm looking to further develop my style in writing pieces that are steeped in satire, wit, and observations about today's culture. You will see commentary on current affairs, editorials on pop culture, and humorous lists of otherwise useless crap that I find riveting. You will also occasionally see me use this site to pimp out other sites and comedians I am a fan of (cough, cough, http://www.11points.com, www,mikepolkjr.com).

Before we begin, a few points on myself:

• I am 28 years old and hold a journalism degree from Edinboro University


• I have a breadth of pop culture knowledge and make an excellent partner for bar trivia


• I am an award-winning writer, having spent the past three-and-a-half years as the Managing Editor for a regional publication that covered the tri-state region


• I hate "your mom" jokes but am not above making them


• I can tell you anything you need to know about the film exploits of James Bond


• The last album I listened to was National Ransom by Elvis Costello. I did not enjoy it as much as The Grey Album by DJ Danger Mouse


• I am not completely shut off to the idea of intelligent life outside of our planet, but I think they will be very disappointed in the human race if they choose to visit us now

Alright, that's enough for an introduction. I hope you keep following my exploits and please, share this link with all your friends. If you like my acerbic wit, then I'm assuming they will too - otherwise, why are they your friends?

And one last thing, this site is very much a work in progress. So if you hate the layout, colors, content, me...please be patient. I'm still trying to figure out what works best here. But trust me, we're going to have some fun.